Our Story

[told from each of our perspectives]

how we met

Technically, we met on Zoom. I was working on an event and I needed to interface with the production lead at the venue, Crossroads Community Church. So, I emailed this guy Tee-Jay and shortly had a call with him to work out the tech production for my event. He had a face and a beard and was nicely serious.

Things were super busy at the church, and somehow I was supposed to run tech for this YFC event on top of everything else. I wanted things to go smoothly, so I hopped on Zoom about 6 weeks before the event to figure out all the tech things I needed to know. I only saw Zelana as a fellow human that I needed to interact with for this event, and had no idea what was in store.

We had our very serious and professional tech run on Monday. Tuesday we continued setting up for the event, both physically and digitally. T.J. was quite attentive to every detail – he took great care and pride in ensuring everything under his watch would run smoothly. He was attentive to co-workers both professionally and personally, caring for how they were from moment to moment. I’m not going to get all sappy, spiritual, or sentimental, but at one moment, I felt distinctly that he was quite a beautiful human, person, and man. I was smitten, yet, very invisible to him – haha – he was all about the tech.

On Monday and Tuesday I was running around making sure all of the details were in place for the event, and also trying to manage all of the normal church stuff. Zelana was great to work with, but I was completely work focused. I loved getting to put everything together and made sure that things were getting taken care of. On Tuesday afternoon when I got back to the soundbooth I noticed a note at my computer from Zel – at the time it just seemed like a lovely gesture of appreciation, little did I know how she felt about me at the moment. (I kept the note – it’s hanging on my wall with other treasured mementos)

I suppose there were some kind gestures and words and such, but super professional 100%. In the days of sitting next to one another in the tech booth we barely spoke. Just working in kind silence, paying attention to every moment and inch of the people and production on stage and room. On the morning of the second day of event-live, he brought me a case of Redbull (I pretty much only alternated between coffee and Redbull during that event). So thoughtful of him planning that out for it to be waiting at my spot, chilled, before I sat down that early morning.

Knowing just how important caffeine is, I figured it’d be a nice gesture to pick up a pack of Redbull for Zel. I wanted to show my appreciation for how lovely it was working with her. I started noticing some things that made me suspicious that she might like me – and I started looking at the note she left me the day before in a different light. I was still very much focused on work, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do.

It was a week-long event and, by Thursday, we were wrapping up the main session. I wanted to know more about this mysterious person who noticed my habits, remembered, and left Redbull for me (and who barely spoke). We were getting ready to take a post-event pic, but the photographer was still setting up. So, I asked T.J. what he did for fun. WELL, he was a gamer (like me), a sci-fi fan (like me), and a weirdo (like me). Then the photographer took our picture.

As the event was wrapping up, she asked me what I did for fun. In my mind, that cemented my suspicions that she liked me, and even better, we liked some of the same things. I had to leave that afternoon to run some errands, but I knew I had a choice. Either make a move and see what would happen, or let her slip back to Georgia. So, in between some of my errands that afternoon, I sent her a text asking her out to dinner – and I didn’t get a response.

I had one more smaller meeting at the venue. Before T.J. headed out he mentioned he might be back before the end of the day. I finished up some details from the main event, hopped on my laptop and did some work. After the other meeting was done for the evening, I headed out for dinner with my co-worker (shout out to Anitra). It was fun getting to chat with T.J. for those short moments, but, onward and upward. Didn’t think I’d hear from him again. But, who can be bummed when you’re eating tacos at the local Mexican restaurant!

You might notice that she didn’t mention getting my text – it’s because it never went through. I was a bit confused, thinking I may have misunderstood the situation. I did go back to Crossroads that evening, but we must have just missed each other. Earlier that day one of the things I had mentioned doing for fun was 3D-printing Christmas ornaments, so I decided to leave one from my last batch with her case of Redbull. Since she didn’t respond to my text, I figured that I probably wouldn’t hear from her before she left Colorado.

The last day at the venue *yawn*. I set up my laptop and walk over to the fridge to grab m’ Redbull. I opened the refrigerator door and, there, leaning against my case of Redbull was a cold, 3d printed, star-shaped Christmas ornament. I knew that T.J. had left it – but when? How thoughtful. I appreciated having this memento of his creativity to remember him by. I took a pic and sent him a note of appreciation.

When she sent me a text that morning, I wasn’t sure what it meant. Did she just not like that I asked her out over text instead of in person? I had some work to do that day, so I decided to go into work before she would leave so perhaps we’d get a chance to talk some more. I walked through the green room where she was working with her coworker, said good morning, and headed to the back to do my work.

Clueless of having “left him on unread”, I bopped up to him all cheery and started asking him a million and a half questions, as I do. Pretty soon he started telling me about his trips and how he likes art and museums – to my excitement he pulled out his photo roll and I saw a picture of an exhibition I had worked on in Boston – where he took his last trip. I shared with him how he had walked in a show I helped put together. Small world! And from there…

When we got on the subject of museums, I asked if she’d ever been to the Denver Art Museum – and she hadn’t. So, I offered to take her to the museum and dinner afterwards. She played it cool – saying she might have plans with coworkers, but eventually said yes! We both finished our work, and headed down to the museum together. I was excited to share one of my favorite places, and curious about what a museum trip with her would be like.

It was surprisingly great to go to a museum with this guy, Tee-Jay. He didn’t get bored, loved to explore, and we quickly started to learn one another’s aesthetic appreciation and palette. We laughed, we winced, we pop-quizzed one another. Art-viewing and museum-going are pastimes that we continue to make a point to enjoy together whenever a new opportunity arrives. We stayed ’till they started to kick us out for the museum closing, then he asked where I wanted to eat. I asked him to go somewhere that makes him happy. We had a great night – a wonderful first date.

The trip to the museum with Zel will forever be my favorite first date, and it’s a priority whenever we go to a new place to visit some museums together. At dinner, I learned that we share similar tastes in food, and both enjoy trying new and interesting things. I knew we’d enjoy exploring new places together. After I got home that night, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye just yet, so I texted and asked her out to coffee the next morning before her flight left. We spent the morning figuring out video games we could play together, and how we were going to connect long distance.

And, well, the rest is history… …oh, and, he had the perfect forethought to take a picture of us before I left for my flight. I was quite surprised that he thought to do that – super glad that we have it now. We weren’t sure where things would go from our first date. It was great getting to know him and that we had such a great time together. We knew that if we would continue to get to know one another it would be tough. There would be 101 reasons not to move forward in knowing one another. So, I left for my flight back home and he went to work. From there, we took it one day, text, call, and game at a time.

The In-Between

When Zel left Colorado we planned on finding some games we could play together. For the first few games we played together, we picked games that would test how well we worked and communicated together.

…and communicated under external stress haha. First, there was “We Were There” – I accidentally left him behind to die. Sorry! Then we played some Overcooked. We’ve gently anger quit that game to return to some other time.

Ah, Overcooked. Or as I like to call it, “Stress: The Game.” We then landed on “Stardew Valley.” While the game is generally much less stressful than either of the other games we had played, it gave us a great platform to build our little farm while having some great conversations. We’ve spent hours upon hours talking on discord while growing crops, building relationships with digital villagers, and raiding underground caves for that sweet, sweet loot.

I love loot.

Ok, but in all seriousness, Stardew Valley gave us a common, free-form, project to work towards while allowing a lot of time to voice chat. If you’re not a gamer, imagine the conversations one could have while playing something like Bridge with someone nearly every day. The game is only 15% of the conversation, your lives are the remainder.

We also were able to learn things about each other in our virtual farm. Between our long phone conversations or hours on discord, we talked a ton. I was amazed at how well two people who couldn’t be more different from the outside could fit so well together. Yet, we aren’t always separated by 1427.81 miles (7538811 feet if you’re being precise); just about every month since we’ve met we’ve had the chance to see each other. From a mountaintop to the beach, we’ve had some great times adventuring together, each trip spent together in person growing our relationship by leaps and bounds.

He likes precision. 🙂 Some pics from our some of our adventures can be found in the photo album. But, I think you all are reading here for some of the proposal deets’ – your turn, TeeeJay.

By April both of us felt like we found The One™. And by the first part of June, both of us were talking seriously about getting married. I had become so smitten with this girl who seemed to fall from the sky into my life. We had planned on me taking a trip out to Savannah for the Fourth of July to meet her mom, so I took the opportunity to tell her mom about my intention to propose.

T.J. came out to spend some time meeting my side of things, you know Church’n’Family and the south. It was a great trip. On his last day in during the 4th of July weekend we were on our way to Calvary Chapel Savannah when he turned to me with a smug look on his face and said something like, “Well, I’m a bit tired this morning…,” “…???…,” he continued, “I chatted with your mom about my intentions today. We talked for about an hour.” From that point, I knew that his intentions to propose were imminent. There was now no longer the possibility of him tying his shoes without me getting suss…

With the conversation with her mom out of the way, and the ring picked out, the last thing to do was to plan the proposal. We both talked about me proposing on her next trip out to Colorado, but I kept mentioning different days and times in order to keep her on her toes. But, by the time her trip in August came around I already had the perfect plan to surprise her.

The Proposal

He invited me out to spend a bit more time getting to know his friends and family. Tamara opened her home to me and put up with me for an extended period of time (thank you, T.!) As I was packing, he insisted that I bring my large gaming laptop with me. I-didn’t-wanna. But, he said that he had my birthday gift and for us to use it I’d need my gaming computer. Naturally, I thought that I’d be able to pin down what type of bday gift he had in store. I was pretty sure it was a new game for us to check out. So, I humored him and brought my gaming laptop on my trip.

Her birthday was almost a month away, but I told her since I was making her bring her computer out, I was going to give her the present in the first part of the trip. That way, we could use it together in the couple of weeks we had. So, the first day that we were spending together, I give her a box wrapped with brown paper and tied up with string.

Honestly, I was a bit petulant about us doing things for my birthday at the beginning of the trip when my birthday was closer to its end. But as petulant as I was he was gently persistent. So, the day after I arrived he persistently insisted that I crank up my gaming laptop…but first, he presented me with a plain brown box wearing a handsome string bow hat. I opened it. Important side note: I am a console girl (for non-gamers, I like to play games with a hand-held controller as part of a gaming system, while he is more of the keyboard and mouse type (I want to hear zero references to PC Supremacy)). When I opened it, *sigh* there was an absolutely beautiful custom-made gaming controller with a brilliant dark blue body and warm gold triggers, with the inscription: “Just you.”

My plan was going perfectly. The hope was that with her mind on her birthday present, she wouldn’t suspect what was coming next. Naturally, with a new controller in hand, we had to test it out. It had been a little bit since we’d played Stardew Valley, so I asked if we could play that to test things out.

Totally had to try out m’new controller! Gotta see if it is compatible with my system, our gaming platform, etc.. For sure, let’s crank this baby up!

We played a little bit – a couple of days in-game – before I asked innocuously: “want to go out to the island?” (we have a second farm out on an island we visit occasionally. Beachfront property!). Once we made it out there, I asked her if she’d come to the beach so I could show her something.

I thought, “Sure! Looty-looty-looty-looty-loot-to-loot.”

There was plenty of loot and secrets on the island, so that was part of my plan to surprise her. Once we were out at the beach I said, “come over here, I have something I want to give you,” and gave her the ring in the game. The game asked me “Are you sure you want to ask Zelana to marry you?” The answer was of course yes, without any hesitation. My hands were starting to shake a little, however.

We get to the beach (where I am fully expecting another secret area to explore, or quest to solve) and I see the text on the screen display, “T.J. is asking you to marry him…” I was like…”oh, my…, cool! I wonder what bonus we get from that?” As I was processing the in-game development, T.J., in real life, pivots from sitting next to me to kneeling down on one knee. For a moment I was confused…and then I thought, “OH MY…this is ACTUALLY happening.”

Neither of us remember what I said. Something sappy about how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and I asked her if she’d marry me. She said yes! It wasn’t a surprise, of course, but it was no less of a relief that things went according to plan. I am still amazed that we found each other – and just how perfect* she is for me. I am so excited for every moment of the rest of our life together, from the extraordinary to the mundane, it’ll be the adventure of a lifetime with her by my side.

*only Jesus is actually perfect, of course, but I hope you can at least appreciate the sentiment.

Yep! 🙂

MMM, I’ll note that in that moment I paused and truly contemplated the question and the weightiness of it. I wasn’t overcome by emotion nor fantasy. I did, however, have a sense of peace and serenity in thinking of the mundane, fun, hardship and mystery life would have to offer and navigating that with him.